I recently scheduled an appointment with a psychologist because I wanted to speak to a qualified professional who also has a neutral frame of reference (on the topic of my life). I also wanted to develop healthy-(ier) coping mechanisms, get fresh perspective, and ultimately just wanted to have a moment to vent, without any (necessary or familiar) filters.
All in all, I have the opinion that everyone carries experiences, processes, etc. that should be unpacked, and further, I think most people would benefit from a few sessions with a therapist anyway.
These are a few things I learned.
1. Compare yourself, but only with yourself
Often enough, people compare themselves to others. Either by comparing experiences, life stages, opportunities, decisions, appearances, etc. People also compare themselves to others through the use of social media.
This does not serve us.
Comparing yourself only with yourself means:
- Learning from your personal experiences.
- Using yourself as a frame of refrence.
Take care of your “you”.
2. Focus Inwardly
It seems that focusing on outside perception is a common theme in people’s lives. The external isn’t necessarily important. What is important is what you think about yourself. You should work towards having a positive opinion about yourself, and do things for yourself, and not for external validation.
Find your centre, fill it, and make sure YOU like the color.
3. Don’t be too hard on yourself
Pay attention to how you speak to yourself. Do you judge your feelings? Do your judge decisions? Remember to take your experiences as they are and shift your internal monologue from negative to positive, or perhaps even to neutral.
Take it from “This is so stupid of me, but I purchased …..” to “I purchased this thing (that I like).” because the latter is closer to the absolute and factual truth.
negative, neutral, positive.
4. Don’t carry things alone (it might get too heavy)
Vent, tell the truth, ask for help, share your emotions, feelings, experiences, find safe spaces, find people who have things in common with you, use your words, find an outlet and let it out.
5. Your thoughts are clouds in the sky that is your mind
Thoughts are fleeting, and they are just that, just thoughts, and no matter what you do and what kind of storm you might be weathering: Let it pass.
6. Get under the feeling
Try to understand what your feelings are asking you for. Are they asking you to take action or are they asking you to take a day.
7. There’s a certain degree of uncertainty in anything (and that’s ok)
Your feelings towards decisions, life changes, and taking on new projects are normal. If you are exposed to new experiences you are bound to feel anxious, nervous, etc. These can be signs of personal growth. Being exposed to new experiences is an overall good thing.
After all, ships are not built to stay in the harbor.